Glimpses
by thecupcakeimp
Summary: Glimpses of a life of Nobodies, the questions, the lies, paradoxes and truths laid bare. A collection of Zemyx prompts from Rigo Argutiae on livejournal that I am working on, and trying to keep around a page long in my notebook as a challenge to myself.
1. Liar Paradox

Liar Paradox

Demyx grins. "You make me smile," he says all too casually.

Then it goes away. "But we don't feel," Zexion responds.

Cool and collected as ever, Zexion sits at the white marble kitchen table, perfect posture, lifting a cup of Earl of Grey tea to his thin lips, eyes scanning the pages of one of his favorite books. Demyx watches the slate haired man carefully, the scent of bergamot, ever so like lavender, drifting over, ensnaring his sense of smell.

"I know," Demyx says leaning over, "But it's nice to pretend."

"It's pointless to attempt denying it," he replies, his voice terse. Indigo eyes close as Zexion sips his tea.

"If I didn't—I'd fade before the week was out. I don't want to forget how it was like to feel," Demyx blurts out, his cerulean eyes pleading for answers.

"When the time comes… we'll all remember what it was like to feel. Each and every one of us will remember what it was like to feel pity, sadness, love, anger, happiness, calmness… it will come back to us. It might take a while, but we will," Zexion says softly, not looking up.

Demyx smiles, but then it goes away.

They both know that day will never come. Even if Demyx denies it, he knows. Zexion is all too aware.

Smiles fade too easily.


	2. Secret

Secret

Zexion has probably told Demyx to stop making his eccentric collection of sounds hundreds of times

"They are annoying," he says, but it's a secret that he somehow developed a fondness towards them.

The squawks during an ungainly fall, or a little squeak when Demyx was found where he wasn't where he was supposed to be had nearly become… endearing.

But what now?

Feelings were not something he excelled in expressing even in his past life, and particularly not now, when he didn't even have a heart to feel them with. Perhaps… it was better to let things stay the same and not let them get out of hand. Yes, that was what he would do.

After all, who knew what Demyx would do next?


	3. Cover Up

**Cover up**

"You don't need to pretend around me, Nine," Zexion says, turning to look back at Demyx. "My opinion of you won't change.

Demyx was glad that he didn't need to force a smile on his face for once.

* * *

The past week had, in short, been hell for the musician.

Missions, missions, mission.

Collecting hearts one after the other, desperately crawling the worlds in search of those foul Heartless just isn't something he likes to do.

"Thanks," Demyx says, watching the illusionist carefully.

"Sometimes pretending doesn't help," Zexion says quietly, holding his Lexicon to his chest.

"Yeah… sometimes you just feel that much emptier," Demyx whispers as Zexion slips through a portal, disappearing from the room.

Zexion always seemed to know exactly what to say. Always.


	4. Being Watched

**Being Watched**

Zexion would watch Demyx as he played the strings of his sitar; the melody, full of emotions that made the dancer Nobodies dance.

He started to think that maybe—but soon that thought was obliterated from his mind when Demyx stopped.

* * *

It was abrupt enough that he wanted to protest.

"No, don't stop," he wanted to say.

"Zexion?" he heard Demyx question.

He'd become visible again. He had lost concentration and let his illusion of invisibility go.

And a certain musician looked rather shocked.

And all he could let out was a rather undignified "Um…"

Then suddenly, as two azure pools of blue caught his own midnight colored eyes—Demyx smiled at him.

It was his turn to be shocked.

"You don't have t'hide, I mean, I don't mind if you listen," Demyx chuckled. Zexion found himself relaxing as Demyx began strumming again, elegant notes once again blinding him in a nearly trance-like state.

Did he love the music for the emotions it so smoothly expressed—exactly what he could not?

It didn't really matter, he decided, as Demyx began to sing. It was as though he knew Zexion wouldn't ever admit his intentions, or already knew, and knew better than to open the floodgates that would drown them both.

So Zexion listened.


	5. Half Truth

**Half-Truth**

"Nobodies are selfish creatures by nature," he says, eyes looking at Demyx in a pedagogical way. "We cannot truly care about others."

Zexion leaves out the fact that he wants Demyx to be his, mind and shell.

* * *

How long has he spent trying to rationalize this need? Weeks, but-

"Then why do I care about you?" Demyx asks quietly, his voice slicing through the heavy silence between them.

Truly selfish, weren't they?

Involuntarily, Zexion lets everything he had planned flutter out the window and softly presses his lips against the musician's.

Rationalization clearly wasn't helping. Any.

Demyx is obviously surprised at his action, but certainly doesn't seem to mind, responding with his own undaunted passion.

Or whatever it was they weren't really feeling. Neither seemed to care remotely.

Not anymore.


	6. Truth Serum

10: Truth Serum—

Demyx just wishes, just this once, that Zexion would flat out tell him how it is. What is between them, and what the hell they are in general. Then Zexion looks at him like he can read his mind.

Demyx takes it all back. He likes not knowing what Zexion's true intentions are (they probably aren't good ones anyway).

Those bright indigo eyes peering so deep into his own cerulean eyes, into the very depths of his being. Those soft lips against his own, those slim, nimble fingers drifting across the black and white keys of the piano on such beautiful, rare occasions, ivory and ebony melodies drifting sweetly through the air. The nights they spent together, the window open, drifting off to sleep without noticing.

And the times he is ignored. When in the presence of others, or when he simply says something wrong. Then, those indigo eyes glare emptily into his. Those are the only times he hates.

And yet, he loves every minute of it. Every second, even askew, he spends with Zexion, friend, lover, is fleeting, something to be cherished.


	7. Blind Trust

**12. Blind Trust**

"You'll visit me after this whole Castle Oblivion thing, right?" He couldn't tell the truth. He should have, because it would be a thousand times easier.

"Whatever," but he can't tell the truth, and this is when he realizes that he has changed (he's not sure whether to say it's a good or bad thing).

* * *

He knows that Castle Oblivion will be a disaster. He thinks that everyone being sent there knows, somehow, that they might and probably won't return. Zexion has felt this way for some time now. There's a looming sense of impending doom overshadowing the prospect of living somewhere other than this godforsaken place for another. If he could, he would simply take Demyx and flee, run from this fate that threatened to swallow everything he had ever worked for.

He doesn't know what love is for sure anymore, but he knows he wants to stay for Demyx, to be held a few more times, but at noon tomorrow, a mere eleven hours away, he must leave.

He would make the best of the time he had.


	8. Shadows

**13. Shadows**

"Seriously, Zexion," Demyx has this face that's a mixture of a pout and a weird contortion of anger (whatever it is, it's amusing and not so serious looking).

"Making your presence known wouldn't hurt."

* * *

Zexion appears on the other side of the couch in the library, having watched the musician scribble notes on a page for a while now, every so often, the blonde had hummed, trying to figure the melody out.

"Why do you write music?" Zexion questions quietly.

"So I can… express what I'm not exactly feeling," Demyx answers, snuggling into the other. Zexion absentmindedly runs a hand through his dirty blonde hair.

"Your 'past feelings' perhaps?"

"I dunno, but they're nice, whatever they are," Demyx says with a smile.


	9. Means to an End

**14. Means to an End**

"When a Nobody dies, where do they go?" Demyx asks Zexion, who probably has other things on his mind.

"We don't die, we simply pay back the debt of our loaned existence."

* * *

Demyx frowns. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"You know as well as I do that we weren't supposed to exist, so there must be some sort of price for doing so," the illusionist states, sipping his tea. Green tea, as usual.

"But… pay it back? How?"

"I don't know any more on that subject than you," Zexion says.

Demyx sighs, sitting beside him, looking thoughtful, and perhaps a little sad. There is silence between them.


	10. Lie to Children

**15. Lie to children**

"We'll get our hearts, right, Zexion?" Demyx asks, looking up at the sky. "Then we can feel, and you and me can go find a place in Atlantica and-" Demyx pauses, making sure Zexion is paying attention, "Then we can live a normal life like Somebodies, right?"

Zexion thinks about Demyx's planned future. "Yes, we'll get our hearts if we follow the Superior." Zexion knows this will never happen, but it's easier to appease the other this way.

* * *

He doesn't want to see that bright light of hope leave eyes the color of the deep ocean. Demyx wrapped his arms around Zexion as they watched the clouds pass over Radiant Garden from the top of the ruins, far off in the distance. He wished that perhaps, things could go a little slower, last a little longer. That he could stop lying, tell the truth. But no, he couldn't. Demyx, these days, was one of the few reasons he stayed here, and did not run to some quiet corner to quietly fade, giving up on this feigned existence.

Demyx is happy to hold Zexion as he is deep in thought. His indigo calculating eyes scanned the horizon. The musician was looking forward to the day when he could tell Zexion he loved him, and not lie.


	11. Cry Wolf

**16. Cry Wolf**

It was starting to get obvious that Zexion and Demyx no longer attended half the Organization meetings they should have. Zexion's excuse was that he was better planning things on his own, an independent organizer.

Demyx's excuses were, well, "All these Heartless just came out of nowhere! I had to take them all down and collect hearts!" always horrible.

* * *

Zexion was starting to get asked questions about his hair being slightly messier than usual on occasion. He was also a little more… tired than usual as well. Demyx was getting asked about the marks that appeared on his neck, not quite hidden by his cloak.

There was one person who got even more amusement in this than the others- Axel. He couldn't ever resist a snicker or a snide comment when the opportunity was given. Zexion always had some statement that made Axel roll his eyes—usually involving Roxas—but Demyx always ended up blushing and finding an excuse to go back to his room.

But not once was anything mentioned to Xemnas.

For they had all, at one point, caught the two in the library, Zexion curled up, reading on the sleeping Demyx's lap, or Zexion fixing Demyx a few extra eggrolls, or the two talking quietly on one of the balconies at night.

No one wanted to ruin what they had together.


	12. History Book

**17. History Book**

"Whatcha' reading now, Zexion?" Demyx leans against him, looking into the other's Lexicon.

"It's some notes by a boy named Ienzo," he doesn't look at Demyx while speaking, "You would have liked him."

* * *

Demyx raises an eyebrow. Ienzo… the name sounds familiar as it runs through his mind.

"Would have…?" he says questioningly.

"Yes, he's long gone," as Zexion speaks, his eyes flash brown momentarily. A sweet warm mahogany.

"Wait as sec—he was your Other, wasn't he?" Demyx finally makes the connection. Zexion finally looks up.

"Yes," comes the simple reply.

"And you still have his notes?"

"Obviously, otherwise I wouldn't be reading them, would I?" Zexion says, but his tone isn't the acidic sort of sarcasm he usually uses, it sounds more amused.

"Point taken," Demyx says and continues to peer at the book, currently filled with neat, precise handwriting.

"And when we all get our hearts back, do you think Myde will like him?"

"I don't know what will happen, Demyx. I simply don't know." Zexion's eyes return to the ever so slightly yellowed pages.


	13. Exposed

**18. Exposed**

Zexion hates doing dirty work for a reason, as the smell and taste of his own blood puts him in a rather foul mood. He feels weakest here, completely useless and powerless to change his destiny.

Demyx feels weakest when Zexion tells him to drop the act of some goody two shoes with a heart, as it won't work on him.

* * *

Zexion has just returned from an assassination mission. One that though finished had been messy, and sloppily accomplished. There is a long gash along his jaw, his cloak is torn and blood has sent dark stains spreading down it. The blood on his face seems bright- redder than it should be against his pale skin and slate colored hair, the contrast painfully evident.

Demyx rounds a corner down the hall, and freezes at the sheer look of anger on Zexion's face.

"A-are you-?"

"Shut up, Nine, I am no concern of yours," the injured illusionist snaps, narrowing his indigo eyes.

"No!" Demyx says defiantly, clutching his fists, "You're not okay, and I wanted to help you!" All he earns is silence as Zexion continues down the hall, leaving a couple of rosy droplets on the floor. Demyx runs after him. "Don't walk away! You shove us all away because of your fear of the fact that you don't have a heart and can't feel!"

Zexion paused and spun on him.

"Do you think it's easy to live with the guilt of being one of the ones who created this hell? Do you think that every day I don't look back to the endless days we spent in the secret lab when we were ordered by Ansem to leave the work and wish we had listened? I certainly look back. Every day is punishment for my actions. None of us deserve to care, to laugh, cry, or feel the rush of emotion a heart can provide when we were the creators of this pathetic existence."

Demyx was shocked into silence.

"No, what happened before was in another life. This is a second chance to make up for before, to figure out what we did wrong. We all deserve hearts, Zexion. You'll realize that—I know that you're smarter than blaming yourself for continuing to live."

Zexion raised an eyebrow almost as though he was amused by this childish notion of Demyx's.

"You regret nothing in your life that corresponds with the magnitude of creating Nobodies. How could you understand any fragment of this?" with that, Zexion turned and left, wiping blood from the corner of his mouth.


	14. Rationalization

**19. Rationalization**

It only takes Demyx five minutes of knowing Zexion to realize that he will never smile at Demyx and mean it sincerely.

This actually is a relief, because Zexion smiling at him would probably mean that he was in some deep shit.

* * *

A week of knowing Zexion and he was in some deep shit. Zexion smile was admittedly the scariest thing he'd ever seen. Indigo eyes gleaming almost mischievously and the corners of thin lips drawn upward as though by strings, and the next thing he knew, he was completely surrounded by darkness with only Zexion. Oh no. He'd never had Zexion use his powers on him before.

"W-what are?" Demyx stuttered, but he was interrupted.

"Teaching a lesson," Zexion's voice echoed playfully. Earlier that day, Demyx had definitely tried to make a pass on him, and he intended to teach a lesson well.

Suddenly there were hands and kisses everywhere, all over his body, touching his skin and then- and then-

"Don't get involved with what you're not absolutely positive you're sure you want," Zexion smirked, leaving Demyx in the white marble hallway utterly confused.


	15. A Not So Honest Mistake

21. A Not –So-Honest Mistake

Zexion always knew Demyx could run his mouth like no tomorrow, digressing off digression. He did notice when Demyx's voice started emphasizing certain words such as "me", "you", and "room".

Zexion sighed as Demyx burst into the illusionist's bedroom with a cry of "Axel's gonna incinerate me!" He stood just inside the doorway, afraid of intruding into Zexion's realm any further. Zexion's royal blue room was a welcome dark contrast to the white of the halls.

"Demyx! You get your sorry ass back here!" Axel shouted from down the hallway. Zexion lowered his book and placed his tea on his bedside table rather leisurely, and stood up.

"What the hell did you do this time, Nine?" he said, clearly exasperated.

"I-I accidentally dropped the fishbowl I was cleaning on his head," Demyx said, voice barely audible.

Zexion couldn't suppress a snicker at the pyro's luck.

"Save me!" Demyx pleaded.

Zexion shoved him against the wall placing a rough kiss on his lips.

Axel skidded around the corner and halted.

The Schemer shut the door with his foot.

"H-hi," Demyx said, nervous with the close proximity.

"So, it's _you, _and _me_, and we're in a _room,_" Zexion said, running a hand through the musician's dirty blonde hair.

"Y-yeah…"

"Isn't this what you were aiming for?"

Demyx gaped at him.

"Now that you've accomplished your goal, what now?" he asked with mock curiosity, as though he had just no idea, sarcasm lacing his words. Demyx gave a slightly less nervous chuckle and seemed to regain himself before placing a tentative kiss on Zexion's cheek before moving to his mouth, and then his neck. Zexion certainly didn't seem to mind.


	16. Silence

**22. Silence**

Even when Demyx isn't talking, he somehow manages to make a sound. Sometimes he taps his foot, sometimes he even hums or whistles without realizing it.

The only way Zexion can get some silence is if he abruptly presses their lips together, distracting the other.

* * *

Such an event had just taken place.

Demyx squeaked a little, taken completely off guard as they sat in the library. Silence, for a few blissful seconds.

"Dem," he says peering into the musician's eyes.

"Mhmm?"

"Can you not make a single noise for two minutes?"

Zexion received a pout and a sheepish look.

"I can try…"

Zexion leaned back, giving up. There was no way he was going to win that particular battle.


	17. Exaggeration

**23. Exaggeration**

"You never smile," Demyx uses his palm to support his chin, "Would it kill you to smile?" Demyx just wants to know his presence around this guy isn't totally pointless.

"You always have to add your own commentary," then Zexion looks up, hair parted far enough to see his lips. "A smirk is a much more effective facial expression." Demyx never asks Zexion to smile again, because he knows it's true.

* * *

"So, what's _that _smirk for?" Demyx asks Zexion, who is sitting on his lap, half asleep.

"What smirk?" Zexion mutters, leaning his head on the musician's shoulder.

Demyx traces the illusionist's lips, "That one."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Demyx chuckles and leans his head on Zexion's, putting his arms around the slightly smaller Nobody.

"You're awfully happy today," he says and Zexion looks up at him.

"It's just because you happen to be an excellent pillow."

"Why thank you," Demyx chuckles and snuggles into Zexion, smiling broadly.


	18. Stolen

**24. Stolen**

"I wonder if our Others are mad," Demyx idly lets his mouth run, "Getting their hearts stolen and all that."

Zexion knows it's better to just let Demyx speak, but he decides to comment. "And we should be mad at them for being so reckless, but we owe them our existence."

* * *

"Yeah, I suppose you're right," Demyx says thoughtfully as he watches Zexion make green tea for himself. "But if we get our hearts back, what will they do? What will we do?"

Zexion pours the hot water into his favorite plain black ceramic mug. "We'll just have to see. There's no way we will know unless it happens," he says, placing the tea bag in the mug. Before sitting down he places a small kiss on Demyx's forehead.

"But- but what if we all change again?"

"We will just have to see," he says, the light fragrant aroma of his tea fill the room.


	19. A Diplomatic Solution

25. A Diplomatic Solution

"So all I gotta do is kill these Heartless, and me and you will be done with this mission?" Demyx is wary of this proposition, "Zexion, it sounds too good to be true." Demyx summons his weapon anyway.

"Yes," Zexions says, leaving out a few details (he swears he just remembers them when he hears Demyx screaming his name in annoyance, seeing as there are over nine thousand Heartless).

With both of them attacking, it took an hour until the Heartless had either run away, or died. Zexion let his Lexicon disappear and he sat down, exhausted. He had simply used barriers to keep the Heartless at a more manageable rate. Demyx sat behind him and they leaned against each other, trying to gather enough willpower to move again.

"Zex?" Demyx's voice said behind him.

"Hm?" he said noncommittally.

"You… are a bastard."

"I really didn't… didn't remember how many there were supposed to be."

"Good for… you."

After a while, they returned to Zexion's room, and they flopped unceremoniously onto his bed. After a moment or two they readjusted into more comfortable positions, Zexion picking up a book from his bedside table to wait for sleep to overcome him, Demyx resting his head on the other's chest.

Sleep took a long time to come to the Schemer, mind racing, plagued by silly little 'what if's that didn't belong there.


End file.
